It's funny how quickly time flies when you don't take time to pause for
reflection. It's strange how insanely fast time moves when you do not
pause to connect with people who are important to your life and tell
them what's up. And it is sad for something as mundane as a busy
schedule to come between you and people you care about.
This
summer was about learning not just the relational, but the physical
boundaries of a busy schedule. Somehow, I thought I could invincibly
take on my routine pastoral duties, extra special events for the summer,
and a new long-distance relationship all without having taken a week
off since Christmas. Granted, I took little three and four-day trips
here and there, but I generally fit them around my weekend duties, just
compressing what needed to be done.
This seemed to work out for
a while. I went to a wedding on a Sunday after a long Sabbath and
managed to stay up half the night chatting with my grandmother
afterwards, returning to my duties not long after. I went to Disneyland
with my friend Hillary right before the weekend crunch, and still made
it through that. I went on a wonderful moonlit hike up Half Dome with my
aunt, uncle, and Stephen (a young man I've had my eye on for years),
watched the sunrise with him, and after all that still managed to get
the church newsletter ready on time that week.
It worked out
until a weekend in mid-July that contained two beach parties and a baby
shower. The day after began a long summer of fever, nausea, and
generally feeling nasty. Yet, woven alongside that, were days that I
felt just fine. Sometimes, I would just go and have a good time anyway
because I was so tired of my life being put on hold. I went to the free
Shakespeare festival at Griffith Park four times, having the time of my
life with Stephen and my youth group. I explored the amazing Disney
exhibit at the Reagan Library even though I was barely holding down
saltine crackers that day. (It's an amazing exhibit, by the way--if you
have any affection for anything related to Disney in your heart, you
must come to LA and see it.) I went to Sea World with my aunt, uncle,
and cousin and had a wonderful time, even though I could barely hold
down my dinner that night. I went to Disneyland with Stephen, even
though I got so sick that not even my stubborn will could keep me around
to watch the fireworks. I went to a wedding in Greeley Hill, out in
the middle of nowhere, and enjoyed it even though I was not strong
enough to stay for the whole reception.
In the midst of all this
activity, I couldn't help but marvel that in some ways, it's been the
best summer of my life--if only I weren't sick for so much of it!
Fortunately, when my vacation the first week of September rolled around,
I was feeling healthy. I could enjoy the company of the family and
friends I'd come up to Napa and the Bay Area to see. I could catch up
with people I hadn't seen in months and enjoy the beautiful Napa Valley
with some quality face time with Stephen. I rounded off my time in
Northern California speaking for the Pathfinder Leadership Convention,
which gave me the refreshing blessing of being far, far away from some
of the things that had started to grate on my nerves about LA (noise,
traffic, light pollution, obnoxious drivers, etc.)
But something
went wrong on my way back. After catching up with a friend at IHOP, I
felt such nausea as I hadn't felt all summer, not since the beach party
weekend. I could not drive back to LA like that! Fortunately, I had a
friend in Dublin who has had this wonderful habit of rescuing me for as
long as I've known her, and as soon as I told her what was up, she took
me into her apartment and took care of me. She took me to the ER when I
wasn't even in the state of mind to realize how badly I needed to be
there. Between her and the ER doctor, I got put right just enough to
drive back to LA.
Since then, I've been having the strange
adventure of experiencing the world mostly from my bedroom, leaving the
house only to go to the doctor and do the most important church duties
on days my fever is not too high for me to attend to them. While both
my doctor and I wish we could figure out exactly what's going on so that
we can stop it, I've been so grateful for everyone who's been so
understanding about it and even helped to take care of me. It's been
very educational to have to learn how to put my energy where it matters
most, and I suppose that's why, after such a long silence, I've decided
to write in here again. This blog kept on getting put at the bottom of
my to-do list because it wasn't "urgent." But here's the thing--what's
more important, an "urgent" bit of church paperwork, or dropping a line
to people I love to tell them what I'm up to and that I care about them?
From
here on out, I want to concentrate on what matters most, and try to
weed out wasted motion. What matters most to me? People, Jesus, and
learning. And that means actually dropping all of you a line once in a
while, because otherwise, I'm only paying lip service to the idea that I
value you. In a way, I'm glad I got sick, because it forced me to come
back to my senses and start approaching life right again. I love you
all, and hope that you are enjoying better health than mine. :)
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